They say that blogs resemble their owners.
They don’t actually say that. They do say that about dogs. They should say it about blogs too.
Blogging for me has been a thoroughly enjoyable stress release in the chaos of my daily bumblings as a foreigner in China. It has forced me to process, more completely, what I actually think and feel in the context of a constant flow of phenomenal experiences such as having my bowel issues publicly assessed by an entire community of well meaning, amateur Chinese medical experts or coming home with 28 enormous hickeys on my back.
It’s therapeutic really.
Beyond that . . . it’s me. Through this goofy little blog I have discovered something about myself that I didn’t realize before.
I love writing.
I wish I was a painter . . . that would be so much cooler. Or a musician. Maybe a drummer. Famous rock star with tattoos.
But I’m not . . . and chances are, at this stage, short of a lobotomy and a dramatic shift in popular culture that’s not going to happen.
But I do love to write.
Writing has become a part of my identity. I even say so up there at the top of this blog . . . And I quote:
“I’m a husband, a dad, a trainer, a writer, an expat, a foreigner, a Chinese faker and a culture vulture who loves having a front row seat to watch the world turn.”
Here’s the kick in the pants — My blog is having an identity crisis.
Somewhere between my last post (ages ago) about my career as a Chinese supermodel and this post we moved back to America. Did you catch that? Even though my so-called blog still says I am . . . I am actually no longer an expat (although I’m feeling very much like a foreigner). I’m still a dad, still a trainer, definitely still a culture vulture and I still fake Chinese (albeit only in Chinese buffets)
BUT I DON’T LIVE IN CHINA ANYMORE.
That was the whole fun point of The Culture Blend. Goofy foreigner . . . China . . . bumbling. I feel like my blog doesn’t know who it is anymore and you know what they say about blogs.
Or at least they should.
My blog’s identity crisis makes the whole writing thing painfully inconsistent. It’s confusing, misleading and unclear.
In short, it’s in transition . . . and so am I.
But in the chaos I’m starting to get a clear picture of two simple truths.
1. Culture keeps on blending no matter where you are which means there is a lot more to write about
2. I still love to write.
So give me some time and I’ll replace the growing number of “used to be true” statements here with the “yet to be seen” facts as I figure them out. I’ll push through the awkward part and someday soon it will make more sense. The whole thing will be less utterly lost and more profoundly insightful.
I’m talking about the blog . . . not myself.
But you know what they say about blogs.