“Bin Laden is not dead.” I have it from a reputable source. In fact a whole room full of reputable sources. I spoke with some more Chinese friends this week and got the down low on what China thinks nearly two weeks after Osama Bin Laden’s death (or should I say . . . his “death” you know . . . with finger-quotes). What I discovered is that American’s no longer have the market on conspiracy theories or rapidly changing opinions (see what they thought last week). Makes sense really . . . you can get the same theories and opinions in China for a fraction of the price.
Sorry. Too political. Here are some of the theories we discussed . . .
- Bin Laden is not dead but this is a strategic move to get America’s guard down so he can return when we least expect it.
- Bin Laden has been dead for several years but Obama took credit for it now because his approval ratings are down.
- Osama and Obama are working together and made a deal to fake Osama’s death so Obama can get re-elected which will ultimately help Osama . . . and Obama.
- The U.S. actually killed an Osama decoy but by the time they realized it they had already announced the news so they buried him at sea quickly to cover it up.
- George Bush has masterminded a brilliant plan to spike Obama’s approval ratings early enough for a fickle American public to hate him by November 2012 and elect Donald Trump who is actually a robot controlled by Osama Bin Laden . . . who is actually a robot controlled by George Bush.
- Ok I just made that last one up. They have no idea who Donald Trump is and they would never call George Bush brilliant.
So what’s your theory?