How to Break a Blog

 

Bloggers are weird.  I feel like I can say that objectively because I’m not a very good one.  I’m not yet one of the full-fledged, card carrying, hard core weirdos (like the ones with the successful blogs) who live to blog and never run out of material.  Instead I sit wide-eyed (tongue hanging out) on the edge of the blogosphere peeking in and wondering how to do this the right way.   I have yet to figure it out but I have to admit  . . . it’s kind of fun.

I’m the guy who reads all of the blogs from the good bloggers about what it takes to be a good blogger and write good blogs . . . and then never does it.  Scratch that.  I do do it.  I just don’t keep doing it.  I only do it right after I read the good blogger’s blogs but then I get busy with something else and forget to keep doing it.  Turns out this is a major hiccup because the one thing that all of the good blogger’s agree on is that consistency is the number one characteristic of a good blog.  Evidently being consistently inconsistent doesn’t count.

I know.  I said “do do”.  Grow up.

Late one night (about three weeks ago) I was particularly inspired by some good blogger’s blog about good blogging and decided it was time to step it up.  I’ve dabbled long enough, let’s start running with the big dogs.  Or at least the medium sized dogs.  Maybe even the larger end of the small dog spectrum would work . . . like a Scotty dog or a weiner dog.  Regardless, it was time to stop running with the Chihuahua’s and it was definitely time to get off the the porch.

So I Googled some other good blog’s about how easy it is to make your bad blog better.  Five minutes they said.  You can upgrade.  Give your blog a makeover.  Run with the Weiner dogs.

I did what they said . . . and I broke my blog.  Like seriously broke it, right in two.  That night I stayed up until three o’clock in the morning trying to track down passwords that I hadn’t used for two years and speaking with tech support cronies from seven different countries who had never heard of a blog . . . or a weiner dog.  Incidentally, I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to Jeremy from Bluehost.  I know it was not you who cancelled my account immediately after I opened it nor was it your policy requiring me to fax a photocopy of my visa card, send in a blood sample and provide the name of the road that my oldest niece’s, childhood pet grew up on.  I shouldn’t have snapped at you.  Thank you for pretending to speak with your supervisor and fixing my problem.

Painfully long story short . . .  what was going to be the five minute, seamless transition into a beautiful new blog, worthy of the weiner dog name turned into the loss of three weeks of my life and more than half of my remaining hair.  It also, as far as I can tell, turned into the loss of everyone who was following my blog.  Unlike the good bloggers who just say “click here” and 10,000 people follow them, I had worked hard for more than two years for every last soul on that list.  All 69 of them.  I would take this opportunity to apologize to them as well but I don’t think they’ll ever see this . . . unlike Jeremy from Bluehost whom I’m pretty sure has been stalking me for three weeks.

At least I’m back on the porch.  Happy, for now, to be hanging with the Chihuahua’s and thrilled with my new and improved (albeit momentarily less functional) blog.  Please feel free to click around and check things out.  Give me some feedback or make some suggestions and together we’ll jump ahead to the weiner dogs.

Click here to check out the homepage.  Then click on the right to like me or be the second one to subscribe via email (I am the first . . . shut up).

3 Comments

  1. So glad I re-found your blog. I think others will do the same. Made me laugh this morning (as usual). Sorry you had such a frustrating time of it!! 🙂

    Reply
  2. Brandi — Congratulations! You are the first comment on the new Culture Blend. You win. You are now officially the Reader of the Day. Enjoy that.

    PS – If no one else comments (which is often the case) you’ll be a shoe in for Reader of the Week.

    Reply
  3. do we have to subscribe via e-mail? you need to research all the RSS junk and figure out how i can subscribe in blogger again. wo bu yao yi ge “e-mail.” maybe jeremy can help you. the one from bluehost, not jezzah. and it was much more fun to follow when you got your picture in a tiny square as a prize for subscribing.

    also, the homepage is super cool. scrolls a little too fast to read the captions, though. and while i’m giving constructive criticism, can you move the “a” in “a writer” to the lower line? it’s weird to break up that phrase between the two lines.

    Reply

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